SBT thermal photo on my way to donate platelets, thinking karma and other NYC issues

Yes I resisted Apple all these years but despite their mega chain mega stamp I don't like it was worth throwing out my Dell and converting because the tech is superior and the support is even more amazing.

I still don't have Time Warner which means no internet and tv.  

I am still experiencing the new little development I am living in.  What is beautiful about it is "very" but I can see the rush to build in every nick and scratch on almost every surface of my home.   I can't bare the noise of construction and the site of cranes which is inescapable and I just pray no more people are injured or hurt.   

Going to donate my platelets.  I still can't find so many things that are scattered about including my wire to connect my camera so I will photograph my platelet donation on my iphone.  I just hope my blood donations go to good souls, people that really appreciate the effort because it is an effort for me.

ps    Can't find my bad boy calendars -- I am confident the ones I use to bring are still safe in storage but it looks like the other half are gone...lost or stolen is my new term...under the stress and duress of moving.

feeling the heat despite the hot weather

hot day and pollution hangs over the entire city like a big dirty sweater
still
I think
of something even hotter but more wonderful
ex lovers
fiery
no lies or economic ties
just fire in the best way
as in passion
recycle
happy memories
in my mind

Suzannah B. Troy, Lotus land healing from trauma, reposting my poem

I am reposting my poem because I feel like a Viet Nam Vet having a flash back...have to calm myself, breathe and walk.   When I make a reference to Lotus Tattoos, that is a reference to my beloved home aka East Village and Barbara Carellas who wrote Urban Tantra, a muse for  lost tattoos in my poem.     She and I are mentioned in the new piece by my best friend being published soon on line about sexual empowerment so I will let you know....

Sunday, April 13, 2008
lotus land healing from trauma
lotus,

lotus tattoos,
now I see lots of lotus, not tattoos or flowers just cars,
lotus symbology spirituality,
east coast LA with no public transportation
I want to make it up this hill on a bicycle too big for me, I worry the hill is too big for me,
I doubt my self, a Bentley speeds by me though the speed limit says 30,
I make it up the hill despite my lack of confidence.
i walk, lotuses bentleys, ferrari convertibles pass me by,
because I am doing something shockingly radical I stand out
far more than the ultra status symbols,
I am walking, walking, people wave, flash their lights,
some stop and ask if I need a ride, some ask for directions
but I don't know because I am not from around here.
Just recovering from trauma, just recuperating
good people have given me shelter...I am resting, I am eating,
I am walking, I am healing.

Sex, mutual respect , compassion and a lot of humor!

Sex must include mutual respect and compassion.  Sex has to be one the best activities on the planet except for having a baby.  I may have passed the mark and my biological clock feels more like a guillotine...tick tock, call the NYPD Bomb Squad...Some times I feel like issuing a warning, a safety alert for any and all single men over 25 and under 46 in the Village...there are not many het straight single guys but my eggs even at this late date in my life are screaming for a sperminator to answer this call, fertilize my eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I visit  Moms that just gave birth and are holding their new born baby...there is this look of love and the statement of a new understanding of love...

Sometimes I get these craving to have 10 or 20 babes.  I also want to breast feed maybe for a year or two or more maybe 10, 20 years...I mean I have these big breasts that sometimes look huge and I just want to experience one of the amazing reasons they have graced my chest! 

People say adopt.  I really don't have the money unless I move to a kibbutz or some commune in the USA that supports having babies but if you are middle class or a single woman the USA is not the place to have babies.

Anyway if I had that many babies I would need to have mega bucks because diapers, clothing, health insurance and college tuition can mean mega bucks these days and I would have to get a tummy tuck and both breasts lifted...

My knee joints feel 200 years old and certain parts of my body feel like an 18 year old.  I am a single which is even odd in Manhattan.  I have always been single and it makes you real out there on the edge.  I have even been refused seating at a restaurant because the owner stated he makes more money seating couples.  

I have never lived with a lover or been married and now I want 5 husbands at once to give me babies, help raise the kids and take care of me so they would have to be younger men!

I guess I need to form a new religion.

Just joking......

sort of...

ps My best friend is having a piece published on sex-- actually orgasms in an upcoming issue of an online mag and it is explosive in a good way!  I love her.  We are the same age, both artists and both very passionate!

East Village garbage to the brim, advertisement w/porno look, sexploitation East Village style, recycle, sexually recycle, recycle, eco wake up call!

I start with a lot of paper products filling this garbage bin to the brim at Cooper Square in the East Village and it is early evening, last Friday night and it is clear we need more garbage cans because of the mega high volume of people visiting the area to party!!!  I show the magazine stand in the Cooper Station that was a women's bathroom and the beaver to give you the visual message of nature, recycling and garbage and it is a eco-wake up call East Village style.
Looks like David Barton has jumped on the Calvin Klein ad campaign of advertisements that want to be porno and push the line as far as possible.  It makes me wonder why doesn't Jenna Jameson advertise on the other side of the little new stand that was "modernized" and "improved" as part of the tsunami of development that has changed the East Village for ever as in we look like a bad xerox of mid-town and Time Square and that includes the traffic of pedestrians and cars. (I feature this "improvement" on my other blog www.suzanahbtroy.blogspot.com .)  The new stand is just West of the black cube at Astor Place and this ad makes it look like Time Square.  I think Jenna Jameson is at least honest while a lot of these sexploitation ad campaigns by Calvin Klein and others are not and they laugh all the way to the bank.

John Berger pointed out in his book I think is called Ways of seeing that men gather a feeling of power from standing over images of naked women so that would mean Playboy is the working guys answer to the Metropolitan Museum, just joking, sort of, well not really.  How powerless must a man feel to need to feel power over her by all forms of sexist behavior...ugh.  I am pro-sex but can we get honest about what is really going on?

How sexist and dopey is this ad?  The East Village has been gentrified, supersized and that includes  advertisements with mega build boards and stupidity like "party like a rock star and live like a Rockefeller" all playing to the "wannabe fantasy".  Gentrification has become supersification and that includes advertisements in the East Village, Lower East Side and Bowery as in another sign of the times = welcome to the new hideous soulless new york.

Beaver next to the women's bathroom turned magazine and candy stand in the subway but still reminds us of an older time and of nature, nature cycles, time to recycle, Eco-Wake up CALL!!!

East Village garbage to the brim, advertisement w/porno look, sexploitation East Village style, recycle, sexually recycle, recycle, eco wake up call!
Remember to recycle in any way you can, including your attitudes about women and how you "see" us and to also practice safe sex!!!!

Sexual Super Star, I prefer the term over sexist terms delegated to describe women

Sexual Super Star, I prefer the term over sexist terms delegated to describe women...

Here is a piece on Mae West...

http://maewest.blogspot.com/2008/04/mae-west-sexpot-or-sex-bomb.html

www.MaeWest.blogspot.com

www.courtingMaeWest.blogspot.com

and check out my letter in the New York Times on porno and sexual politics where I talk about Mae West!

feeling that loving feeling chemistry is everything, need time for healing and rest and feeling the joy, feel love turning to joy

feeling that loving feeling chemistry is everything, need time for healing and rest and feeling the joy, feel love turning to joy...


bought this emblematic expression with the word "love" at the lingerie store on 9th Street right by Tompkins Square Park...one left from Valentine's Day but the timing was perfect,
so funny, my East Village 'wear" tossed on my bed..."LOVE" looks like "JOY", poetic accurate and I am so grateful to feel that feeling...
I can't think long term but in the short term so grateful for the love that looks like joy...
feels like a kiss on my soul, amazing that gift of a special friend who can accept me as I am, treasured friend when I need one the most...feeling the joy,
thanks and gratitude with New York attitude just not feeling so NY right now...just feeling that happy feeling and still I need to rest. Resting.