Sunday, July 13, 2008

Metropolitan Musuem

Leave it to this sculpture to interpret Greek Mythology.  I wish I could make him come to life.

Visited the Metropolitan Museum today and of course I always stop by and visit this fellow but I can't never get his attention.

Hey Perseus!!!!!


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Anna Lise of Yoga Face book fame has a beautiful baby this morning!!!!!!

So happy for her and her husband, Anna Lise gave birth to a baby girl this morning.
Certain parts of my body have been feeling HUGELY sympathetic.

Based on my cycle the guys in the neighborhood are safe but it is hard seeing all these babies everywhere and not having one!
I get these extra intense urges which is surprising at my age.

I am tooooooo tired and this community crushing development has wiped me out so the reality is no babies unless I have a late in life surprise and I have the energy, money and love and support to go for it. Just thinking about it this morning makes me tired.

So happpppppppppyyyyyyy and I can't wait to hold the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 30, 2008

SBT thermal photo on my way to donate platelets, thinking karma and other NYC issues

Yes I resisted Apple all these years but despite their mega chain mega stamp I don't like it was worth throwing out my Dell and converting because the tech is superior and the support is even more amazing.

I still don't have Time Warner which means no internet and tv.  

I am still experiencing the new little development I am living in.  What is beautiful about it is "very" but I can see the rush to build in every nick and scratch on almost every surface of my home.   I can't bare the noise of construction and the site of cranes which is inescapable and I just pray no more people are injured or hurt.   

Going to donate my platelets.  I still can't find so many things that are scattered about including my wire to connect my camera so I will photograph my platelet donation on my iphone.  I just hope my blood donations go to good souls, people that really appreciate the effort because it is an effort for me.

ps    Can't find my bad boy calendars -- I am confident the ones I use to bring are still safe in storage but it looks like the other half are gone...lost or stolen is my new term...under the stress and duress of moving.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

feeling the heat despite the hot weather

hot day and pollution hangs over the entire city like a big dirty sweater
I think
of something even hotter but more wonderful
ex lovers
no lies or economic ties
just fire in the best way
as in passion
happy memories
in my mind

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Suzannah B. Troy, Lotus land healing from trauma, reposting my poem

I am reposting my poem because I feel like a Viet Nam Vet having a flash back...have to calm myself, breathe and walk.   When I make a reference to Lotus Tattoos, that is a reference to my beloved home aka East Village and Barbara Carellas who wrote Urban Tantra, a muse for  lost tattoos in my poem.     She and I are mentioned in the new piece by my best friend being published soon on line about sexual empowerment so I will let you know....

Sunday, April 13, 2008
lotus land healing from trauma

lotus tattoos,
now I see lots of lotus, not tattoos or flowers just cars,
lotus symbology spirituality,
east coast LA with no public transportation
I want to make it up this hill on a bicycle too big for me, I worry the hill is too big for me,
I doubt my self, a Bentley speeds by me though the speed limit says 30,
I make it up the hill despite my lack of confidence.
i walk, lotuses bentleys, ferrari convertibles pass me by,
because I am doing something shockingly radical I stand out
far more than the ultra status symbols,
I am walking, walking, people wave, flash their lights,
some stop and ask if I need a ride, some ask for directions
but I don't know because I am not from around here.
Just recovering from trauma, just recuperating
good people have given me shelter...I am resting, I am eating,
I am walking, I am healing.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Sex, mutual respect , compassion and a lot of humor!

Sex must include mutual respect and compassion.  Sex has to be one the best activities on the planet except for having a baby.  I may have passed the mark and my biological clock feels more like a guillotine...tick tock, call the NYPD Bomb Squad...Some times I feel like issuing a warning, a safety alert for any and all single men over 25 and under 46 in the Village...there are not many het straight single guys but my eggs even at this late date in my life are screaming for a sperminator to answer this call, fertilize my eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I visit  Moms that just gave birth and are holding their new born baby...there is this look of love and the statement of a new understanding of love...

Sometimes I get these craving to have 10 or 20 babes.  I also want to breast feed maybe for a year or two or more maybe 10, 20 years...I mean I have these big breasts that sometimes look huge and I just want to experience one of the amazing reasons they have graced my chest! 

People say adopt.  I really don't have the money unless I move to a kibbutz or some commune in the USA that supports having babies but if you are middle class or a single woman the USA is not the place to have babies.

Anyway if I had that many babies I would need to have mega bucks because diapers, clothing, health insurance and college tuition can mean mega bucks these days and I would have to get a tummy tuck and both breasts lifted...

My knee joints feel 200 years old and certain parts of my body feel like an 18 year old.  I am a single which is even odd in Manhattan.  I have always been single and it makes you real out there on the edge.  I have even been refused seating at a restaurant because the owner stated he makes more money seating couples.  

I have never lived with a lover or been married and now I want 5 husbands at once to give me babies, help raise the kids and take care of me so they would have to be younger men!

I guess I need to form a new religion.

Just joking......
sort of...

ps My best friend is having a piece published on sex-- actually orgasms in an upcoming issue of an online mag and it is explosive in a good way!  I love her.  We are the same age, both artists and both very passionate!

Monday, April 28, 2008

East Village garbage to the brim, advertisement w/porno look, sexploitation East Village style, recycle, sexually recycle, recycle, eco wake up call!

I start with a lot of paper products filling this garbage bin to the brim at Cooper Square in the East Village and it is early evening, last Friday night and it is clear we need more garbage cans because of the mega high volume of people visiting the area to party!!!  I show the magazine stand in the Cooper Station that was a women's bathroom and the beaver to give you the visual message of nature, recycling and garbage and it is a eco-wake up call East Village style.
Looks like David Barton has jumped on the Calvin Klein ad campaign of advertisements that want to be porno and push the line as far as possible.  It makes me wonder why doesn't Jenna Jameson advertise on the other side of the little new stand that was "modernized" and "improved" as part of the tsunami of development that has changed the East Village for ever as in we look like a bad xerox of mid-town and Time Square and that includes the traffic of pedestrians and cars. (I feature this "improvement" on my other blog .)  The new stand is just West of the black cube at Astor Place and this ad makes it look like Time Square.  I think Jenna Jameson is at least honest while a lot of these sexploitation ad campaigns by Calvin Klein and others are not and they laugh all the way to the bank.

John Berger pointed out in his book I think is called Ways of seeing that men gather a feeling of power from standing over images of naked women so that would mean Playboy is the working guys answer to the Metropolitan Museum, just joking, sort of, well not really.  How powerless must a man feel to need to feel power over her by all forms of sexist behavior...ugh.  I am pro-sex but can we get honest about what is really going on?
How sexist and dopey is this ad?  The East Village has been gentrified, supersized and that includes  advertisements with mega build boards and stupidity like "party like a rock star and live like a Rockefeller" all playing to the "wannabe fantasy".  Gentrification has become supersification and that includes advertisements in the East Village, Lower East Side and Bowery as in another sign of the times = welcome to the new hideous soulless new york.

Beaver next to the women's bathroom turned magazine and candy stand in the subway but still reminds us of an older time and of nature, nature cycles, time to recycle, Eco-Wake up CALL!!!

East Village garbage to the brim, advertisement w/porno look, sexploitation East Village style, recycle, sexually recycle, recycle, eco wake up call!
Remember to recycle in any way you can, including your attitudes about women and how you "see" us and to also practice safe sex!!!!

Sexual Super Star, I prefer the term over sexist terms delegated to describe women

Sexual Super Star, I prefer the term over sexist terms delegated to describe women...

Here is a piece on Mae West...

and check out my letter in the New York Times on porno and sexual politics where I talk about Mae West!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

feeling that loving feeling chemistry is everything, need time for healing and rest and feeling the joy, feel love turning to joy

feeling that loving feeling chemistry is everything, need time for healing and rest and feeling the joy, feel love turning to joy...

bought this emblematic expression with the word "love" at the lingerie store on 9th Street right by Tompkins Square left from Valentine's Day but the timing was perfect,
so funny, my East Village 'wear" tossed on my bed..."LOVE" looks like "JOY", poetic accurate and I am so grateful to feel that feeling...
I can't think long term but in the short term so grateful for the love that looks like joy...
feels like a kiss on my soul, amazing that gift of a special friend who can accept me as I am, treasured friend when I need one the most...feeling the joy,
thanks and gratitude with New York attitude just not feeling so NY right now...just feeling that happy feeling and still I need to rest. Resting.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Gentrification has become supersification.

Gentrification has become supersification.

I renamed gentrification because of this tsunami of community crushing development post 9-11 thanks to the Bloomberg administration.

Super-si-f-ication....with an emphasis on the "f" for the middle, lower income and poor...
the evictions continue to rise with these hideous mega dorms, sky piercing mirrored condos and hotels that reflect a history destroyed and a community no longer welcome.

You either have to leave or apply to one of the 5 Universities that have mega dorms in the neighborhood or try to get in to a homeless shelter on the Bowery sandwiched between the zone busting Bowery Hotel that looks like a prison and the pink unmarked NYU student housing.  NYU told me they are leasing that building on the Bowery and the owner won't let them put up their ubiquitous NYU flag, hmmm, I wonder why? 

We are not welcome in the communities that we made so attractive to college kids, film makers, wall streeters and entertainers.  They only thing the mayor, John Sexton, Amanda Burden and company have not done is  provide transportation, you know,  buses, trains and NYU trolleys to move us least not yet.

My thoughts on good to great sex...

Good to great sex is like a fascinating conversation that goes on for a long, long time, that you don't want to end!  I don't find one moment boring.  Naturally, I find myself gravitating towards younger men.  It is fine if one person is dominating the conversation at some points as long as both are enjoying the conversation.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

erotic horror story my best story for a "hollywood" movie

The best most bankable story I have written is a comedy, horror, mystery that ends with a laugh and is highly satisfying and entertaining.

YES, I NEED AN AGENT. The story is so strong, smart and entertaining that I am confident it would be a huge success at the box office.

I have the story written and I did send it out to some and of course I got rejected but I know this story is a home run out of the ball park!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Murderville in the East Village - a sketch for a short story I wrote a long time ago as cartharisis

I wrote this and posted this on myspace twice --- one posting June 2007 and of course I sent it to The New Yorker and yes, I see it as an indie film. Yes, murderville -- murder, yes there is a murder but it is symbolic of the murder of the Village, community, of attempting to silence voices of people who speak up -- so instead we have a "mega retail shopping mall culture" with plastic like people -- surgerized that live in glass aquariums, mirrored hotels and mega dorms...
The ending is Agatha Christie like and the obvious supsects are innocent and the guilty parties are many and they use intimidation to attempt to silence people who know because it is about big bucks investments including real estate and "other big money deals that are part of this "new economy of mega wealth and oligarchy posing as democracy"...and justice is served because it is my "treatment" short story sketch aka art. She has her ways even if the story starts out with her deader than a door knob.

Any similarities to people, groups, institutions, anything or anybody is purely coincidental.

Murder-ville East Village

Murder-Ville East Village -- murders in the Village, Bowery and LES but the title is a metaphor for our historic buildings, history community-- and the coming of this new hideous new york -- the stats for murder by the precinct remain low but people are isn't AIDs this time around and the coroner thinks it may be death dust from 9-11 or maybe -- it may be something else......?????????

Murderville--I am basing it on the"murder" of St. Ann's Church and the battering of St. Brigid's and far more but there is a murder -- although the police can't find her body - the new techno whiz kid on the force has picked up her cell phone (tracking device)for a moment on the newest state of the art computers donated by one of our billionaires -- in fact the whiz kid cop is a young billionaire Internet genius that like the mayor is on the payroll for just a buck...go figure. He looses the signal and is it because of another con ed black out (infrastructure problems that no one wants to talk about or her ghost who is angrier and more effective than Hamlet's dad's ghost because the true guilty parties responsible for her death are not going to be arrested so her ghost is not leaving the neighborhood anytime soon-- her ghost in not leaving the East Village until justice is served. If you think technology is watching you, you are right but so is a very angry ghost and she is going to make sure justice is served and she has unlimited time and resources.

The answer also lies in an African American homeless man's art and the police walk by his collage that would unlock the mystery but they just don't see it. They have arrested a local bad boy who is innocent and is preparing to sue for big bucks but in the new economy of real estate Boesky like shuffle of shady dealings -- even if the bad boy wins a million bucks -- that is bubkas. Ironically the bad boy is a saint compared to the people truly responsible for her death but he is an easy target -- he is innocent and he has a hippie lawyer with the heart of a pit bull on steroids.

Of course the computer nerd police man falls in love with the murder victim but unlike that stunning film "Laura" (one of my favorite "old" movies) she is dead...He is a funny character who is very isolated because of his genius and has never had a "real" girlfriend.

The police think it is one person responsible for her murder but in the first page I lay out it all out --in your face like a scattered jig saw puzzle (but it doesn't come together until the last page) and there are so many people involved it is hard to conceive let alone prosecute and that is what makes the short story fun to write because it is all spelled out in the first page but I have to make the readers want to read why they will never be caught or maybe they will -- by their own fatal flaw, their achilles heel, their greed or by a very angry ghost or the techno cop whiz kid....?

Also, there may even be some giant infrastructure collapse -- the kind that looks like a terrorist attack and all the new buildings that are mainly mirrored aquariums for the new economy of mega bucks collapse along with the mega dorms that were world record speed builds while the pre war building are left standing....

Muderville in the East Village -- a short story on my mind....

note: if she is found under the newest mega dorm on St. Ann's Church -- digging up her body would inconvenience the 900 students that are pre-booked to live there -- she was murdered and was not meant to be found -- is her body going to turn up because of the new techno-policing, massive infrastructure collapse -- the biggest in NYC's history....or not at all....?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

wait for closure

Almost there...close the door on this chapter...
thinking of the happy memories, Heaven on Earth shared with loves in my loft...climbed the spiral staircase authentic fiery loves.

New York

Found this poem I wrote last year...

Ecstatic Memories
Guest fiery passionate love
memories strands unraveled
fibers of my soul
fibers of my lovers'
briefly together bliss
alone always
but never.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

love soul blanket

love thoughts
warms me
even alone I can recall
like a warm blanket
encompassing my soul



Friday, February 8, 2008

bubble wrap art to go

Art bubble wrapped and ready to go in to storage

Ugly scary story feels like a slow motion hate crime but I moved my art out of my home of 20 years and I can't wait to leave this place and never return ever again. I will miss my very good neighbors but many have moved already.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Techno-Jock...long time ago donated for LAMDA legal fund raiser

Too overwhelmed to look up dates but I donated this Tehcno-jock -- floppy disk, jock strap and paint about technology and how it changed our relations to LAMDA legal fund.

post 9-11 a fireman that survived downtown told me my art was in the Fire Museum

I just took a pic of a picture of me and my art is on the bottom shelf == a color xerox -- it meant a lot to be to know I was included in this exhibition and to be told it was there by a fireman that was downtown 9-11.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

John took a picture of me Sunday watching polo bike players

verycold....wish I could run play....

xerox of one of my cat drawings...circa ?

Marathon pictures and medals '91 and '92

I can't run anymore and I miss it. I would run all over the city and it was my love letter to NYC. This was before they had the chip so I technically ran a faster marathon but just proud that I ran because I want from star athlete to big fatty in college and I didn't think I would ever make it back to being so healthy. The kimino material in the corner is a gift from my friend Akko that took the express to Heaven way too soon.

Found Karl last night and a sketch and two poems on Tompkins

I found Karl heading towards Tompkins Square Park and he was cold so I got him a hat. I hope he made it back downtown to Heuss House last night. I know his right leg was hurting him. He was sober so I bought him a cup of coffee. He doesn't "push a Cadillac" aka "shopping cart" so he wouldn't take a blanket. He is one of the few New Yorker's that is anti-clutter and I hope to lose a lot of clutter. Karl is not a lost soul. He just needs a room of his own and a safe place. I understand. We understand about needing a home and needing a safe place to call home.

This is pre--I got my reading glasses and some light...I also meant to post on so to read the cleaned up post go to my other blog.


Lost souls
sit in Tompkins Square Park
waiting as if some bus
will arrive
but it ain't ever going to arrive,
toothless, vicious cycles, broken dreams and needles,
empty bottles of alcohol and drugs,
under the stunning green canopy Tompkins


light illuminates
magnificent trees
connecting living tapestry
shelter from chaotic city
swaying softly
living canvas
enduring stories
poetry alive at peace
I am at peace rich moments precious quietude
under the stunning green tapestry

hard to read my quick notes but this is the jist of my rough real one too pretty.
Also wrote this down...

"A Survivor once said to me "when the desire to live becomes greater than the pain inflicted on you, you cease to be a victim and you become a survivor.

Leslyn Stewart widow of Det. Dillion Stewart

Monday, January 21, 2008

Women come in one size, BEAUTIFUL! Suzannah B. Troy

WOMEN'S PORN; Come Up and See Us

Published: September 5, 2004

This letter had a tribute to Mae West but really spoke up for women... Very pleased to get my double entrendre in the letter. Mae would have been proud.

visit The New York Times archive to read

me with other people's art in the Chelsea hotel

I gave away this coat as well. Michael took me to his favorite thrift shop in the East Village and I got this coat for 10 bucks but cleaning it and trying to patch it up was futile...time to let go.
not a good photo and the frame is so heavy it will be a challenge to pack this up. Tempted to take it out of the frame and pack it up...I have time to figure it out....I started to make part animal part human figures in college at Mason Gross and Leon Golub really like my paintings very much. I was inspired by American Indian art and culture as well as mythology and Egyptian art.

spiritual head phones

I made these years ago...recycled head phones with paint, sand and pieces of paper with spiritual words and thoughts. A friend actually borrowed this to give herself comfort. So sad how women are assaulted on so many levels and blamed by the was a good feeling to remember I helped someone with this art.

condom art on the shelf

bad muse -- think of Picasso and how he hurt his muses...very destructive and even though I am the artist -- it hurt -- wondered if it was a gender thing...old old stuff taking down to put away circa 1996

sexual sonar 1996

bad muse and this may look funny but it wasn' can be a purge process...old old stuff I am taking down to pack up

Ellen Kane's art in my home, Matheny School and Hospital

Ellen Kane is very beautiful...stunning soul...beaming smile...these are her wheel chair tracks. Her teacher set up paint and had her and other students roll over the paint to create beautiful art. I bought this beautiful art to support her work. I am spread to thin to keep up with everybody but I am so glad to have this art work. In process of taking art down from my walls and that includes other artists. 1998

Love Box series...greatest joy and a kind of death as well

Love Box series

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Bustier with computer keys, help help cancel cancel and shoes

I think I had just had my first letter published in The New York Times about Bruno Schulz and Yad Vashem and I had jumped on a plane to Israel to go to Jerusalem and visit Yad Vashem... I came back and there was an invitation from The New Yorker for a party at the Gug and I wore this bustier with a serious white help cancel cancel a bustier with computer felt great to be wearing my art at the Gug...

Safe Sex shoes and these were in a wonderful art...but so long ago...

old drawing, circa ?

Bruno Schulz, my first letter in The New York Times, Struggle Over the Murals of Pain"

The Battle Over the Murals of Pain

The New York Times
Published: June 22, 2001
You can find the letter in The New York Times archive

My letter in The Financial Times weekend June 3/June 4, 2000

The Financial Times weekend June 3/June 4, 2000

William Packer's description of Lucien Freud's "Naked Portrait" ("Paint is back in fashion", May 16) and the courage of the FT to show the image are truly spectacular.

Women's sexuality seems to be "hidden" in the most negative shame-based way as a form of control. When women's body parts are visually displayed, it is to sell a product. The woman's body becomes "plastic"; her power from being an object directly analogous to the product.

I am not a big Freud admirer but this painting and your courage in publishing it are at the cutting edge. As a woman painter, I feel I would have more to lose than to gain if I were to produce a self-portrait like "Naked Portrait", because women are still lagging behind on all fronts -- from economic power to the most basic human rights.

I would not expect the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal to carry an image like "Naked Portrait". Bravo FT.

Suzannah B. Troy

*This was the first letter I had published. I was volunteering as Rusk, NYU with pre-school kids and I came home and saw an email from the FT...I can't express how much this letter meant and still means to me as a woman and artist and seven years later it is still true -- globally economic issues and basic human rights....the way women are treated.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

showing you old art because I am getting read to pack it up

this is all old work...
getting ready to take my art down off my walls, pack it wonderful to have real art my art and some other artists I appreciate and wanted to support by buying their work up on my walls.

muse art...this was happy musing art poerty

I started this art work inspired by muse, muses from a distance...the framing was very important to me...I wanted a gold chain link quality...excellent framer...his work is art highlighting my art.

This was the only muse phase of art making that truly brought joy to the art process. I still feel joy when I think of the art and poetry. most dyanmic frame work as you can see.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Found old drawings...irony here in the writing, drawing of cats, love my cats 1993

Dream, dreamed this morning

Dream: There was a party and I did not go in because I was unsure of the people but I did get on a motorcycle with an intense bad boy with a stunning motorcycle and we went for a ride.
There was this enormous hill and we flew over it and in to the air...we were flying in the air and he knew I was scared...I was glued to him and him read my mind...I wanted him to land the motorcycle on this grassy area and he did it...we landed softly... He did what I needed him to do for me to feel safe. I remember a retired fireman friend that always wished me soft landings...

The dream gave me immense pleasure and peace...I can still feel us flying through the air it was incredible...and the soft safe landing.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Turning the pain in to gold

I was always called a "tomboy" which is now an unacceptable term. This image is at the top of my website
and I wanted to show you it living in my home.

Techno-Cowboy, floppy disk and underwear

Some of this is on my website
but I want to put it up as I remembered it and loved it. To my left is a rack of funky earring which many I have given away or I am throwing away...With the world wide web brought the techno cowboy. Sexual frontiers changed-- expanded on line and geo-sexually in terms of politics...from expanding and redefining sex, sexuality and sexual reproduction...geo-sexual politics.

My volunteer certificates from Rusk

I am getting ready to take down a lot of my art and other cherished items that adorn the walls...gradually....that is why the photographs

series of favorite cat drawings

I am sad I could not care for this series and most are gone...when I think of all the death and destruction I just shrug it off. I loved this drawings and I kept them in the bathroom...They were of my beloved cats...

plaster casts I made of my face in collage

I am Listening...and behind him the green fellow Adam Techno head

a billionaire bad boy wanted to buy this way back when and I said no....that is another story...truth is stranger than the right is a photo of Tegla Larope a marathon runner I always deeply admired and she has done so much to help her village and people with her great heart. It was an honor to meet her. I met her a US Athletics when I was getting some healing done on my knee. To the left is a fire patch from the big fire house on Houston...The phoenix ad the bull dog which means rebirth and tenacity.
This is one in a series I jokingly called techno-chastity belt...made a very long time ago as part of technology as a 2nd skin and I recycled a walkman walk person, the most inexpensive portable tech even a poor person could carry with them to tune out the stresses and unwanted street noise etc. I collage words, paint and sand... It was made as a form of protection from people with unloving agendas.